That’s basically what I’ve been doing ever since I decided to take my physical activities to the pool. Running, just wasn’t cutting it, basketball here is the equivalent of mini “d” and I’m just bad at all the other sports that people do around here so I made an executive decision and bought a pass to the local pool. It’s no gem by any standard, but it’s impossible to open your eyes under water without getting a good 10-minute burning sensation deep in my eyeballs, so, I figured it was safe to get to swimmin’!
My first day at the pool was a tough one. I still wasn’t fully accustomed to the local traditions, so, unknowingly I moseyed down to the pool and took a lay of the land. Yup, this is a pool alright, A couple lanes, flotation devices scattered around the outskirts of the pool and the typical overweight lady floating with very little purpose in the shallow end. I was eager for some fitness and excited to test out French water so I got to it. I dove in and got into front crawl mode. I was feeling relief and enjoying the easy fitness a good swim provides. It was then I realized something was off. When I got to the other end I was told to get out by the life guarding staff who had already labeled me an out of Towner. Little did I know that a bathing cap was required and I couldn’t swim any longer unless I found one. Not a problem, I would just head up and borrow one from the front desk. Then I noticed a women starring quizzically at my bathing suit. This was going all wrong. I just wanted a swim. Then the lifeguards laid it on me. After they had a little chuckle, they told me I was not allowed to wear my bathing suit in the pool because it wasn’t proper. I’m talking about your regular average Joe suit here. But as I looked around the pool, I noticed that I was the only male in the facility not wearing a Speedo! Could this be so, was the proper bathing suit actually a Speedo. Well dog my cats, it was a Speedo and I was told not to return unless I was equipped for the occasion. Lucky for me, right before I left, when the family was giving me last minute presents of things I might need in Europe, Doug cleverly thought that a Speedo was a must bring. At first I thought the present was just a good joke… little did I know that Doug had gone out and done some research on this purchase. He knew what the pools were like over here, and me, being the fool, thought it was all a joke!!Well, I’ll tell you this; I headed back to that pool the next day with my Speedo in hand and a stomach full of butterflies. Got to the pool and put on the gear not quite sure how I’d feel. At first I was feeling a little self conscious and not sure if I could do this thing, but darn it, I didn’t even know any of the folks. I through my shoulders back, tightened my buttocks and headed down to the pool. When I got to the doorway I stood there for a minute and took it all in. Hands on my hips, black swimming cap, fresh purple goggles, towel slung over my right shoulder, chin held high wearing nothing but my black and red striped Speedo. I then thought, why stop here, I’m letting it all hang out now, so I went for a stroll and took a warm up walk around the pool. I nodded at some of the regular swimmers, and then approached the lifeguard from the day before. She barely recognized me, but when she did, I could tell that the pool was mine. I hopped in and shot off 40 laps in a matter of minutes. Then to finish it off I raced an old man, who beat me. I think I may have to shave my legs if I want to get that extra mili second on him.